Lost to found x 3

After the excitement of this morning (RH album in the bag - although my paypal account is blocked since some stupid criminal tried to access it from India), I spent the rest of the day working, getting lost and finding my way (although not in that order).
I walked downstairs from my hotel room today and asked for a taxi to the hotel where I was supposed to be working (why make it the same one, the adventurous side of me asks?).
It's just there - said the man who always seems like he doesn't want to be bothered.
And so it was, large and looming, about a block from me.
(There'd be a photo here if it was Playboy!)
Easy - I thought - I'll walk.
Well I got on the streets and encountered one of the many roundabouts and without trying to classify my path as left or right (too many options there), I looked up again and started walking in the general direction of hotel X.
First off, I had to take a small detour since a rabid looking dog was running my way and I could just see myself getting rabies shots in an Indian hospital...
(There'd be a photo here if it was Playboy!)
So I turned left or right (who cares?) and intended to follow that path around the block, turning the same direction at each corner.
But ha - clever me - without intending to, I found myself at the back of my intended destination, the hotel's back entry just in front of me. (There'd definitively be a photo here if it was Playboy!) So I tried to blend in and sneak in the gate and almost made it and I even had a plan of how I'd go through the kitchens or laundry rooms, pretending to be the 'no-lady-no-man' person, even making some cash on the way - but no... "Lady STOP" yelled the guard and he had a gun (security's tight after some hotel bombings) so I listened. He absolutely wouldn't let me through and said I had to get out on the street, turn left and enter through the proper entrance of the hotel.
Damn it.
So I followed directions turning some way which resembled left and had my bag and other possessions x-rayed as I entered the right hotel, at the right entrance (you're paying attention, I hope).
The end? I don't think so.
I asked for the directions to the Ballroom - where the event was held and strange looks resulted. The Ballroom? You want to dance? - one joker asked.
(There'd be a photo here if it was Playboy!)
I don't dance, I'm here for an exhibition -was my curt reply.
You'll need to ask someone else then, because I don't know - the joker replied.
You don't know? Do you work here or just provide comedy entertainment, you know, joke with the hotel guests? - I must admit, I was frustrated by now.
He called the duty manager, while I crossed my arms and stared at him frustrated, having rolled my eyes twice (in case he didn't understand my words, you see, I do INTERNATIONAL communication...)
Duty manager came (a woman, so she wouldn't try and joke with me - good!) and asked me what the problem was. I explained and almost said something about her staff having no idea, when she asked - Which hotel are you looking for?
Hotel X, of course. - I said, readying myself for more incompetence.
This is hotel Y, hotel X is outside, to the right and then left (or whatever, once again, who cares?!)
Thank you humbly, will do the needful - said I (We will have to do an entire lesson on Indispeak) and exited the wrong hotel.
I didn't rely on my direction or those left/right skills - I asked every terrified Indian, rabid dog and even a squirrel (no rabies, though the squirrel was worried about my health condition - mental health)
Is this the way to hotel X?
Found it, only 25 min late.
I took a rickshaw taxi back to my hotel - 10 rupees (22 cents).
(There'd be a photo here if it was Playboy!)
Oh and the work was fine too.
I met a really nice lady who told me all I didn't want to know about men from India - ladies, no marriage material here in case you were interested. ;-)
I wasn't either, but after my earlier petulance, I humbly listened.
Tomorrow Kolkata - a new beginning! ;-)