I wish I was there...

Plot for a Bolly film - supermoon, bombs and polar bears in a Riyadh hotel...

(Title of the blog looks a bit like "LOST"!!)
The moon is/will be closer to earth than usual and also full - something that doesn't happen very often - some previous times were 1955, 1974, 1992 and 2005.
I've been hyper creative - but without being too productive - all that energy but no focus!! I wish I could concentrate. Though my coffee consumption may be to blame for that one - after not having had a good coffee for a month, I may have overdosed, slightly!
What an eventful week we've been having too!
Saudis and Iran are sorting out their differences in Bahrain.
The US, UK and France is bombing Gaddafi.
Knut, the Berlin polar bear died. :-(

I'm not going to the Middle East as I was expecting. Don't really want to get stuck in Riyadh due to protests/shootings/earthquakes.
Last time I was stuck there (due to snowfall in UK, remember?!), I got so bored of sitting in my hotel behind covered up windows - I couldn't leave the hotel being a lone woman and the windows were screened just in case I decided to seduce some innocent Arab men through the window... Obviously....
Anyway, plans will change - countries, dates and holidays are being re-worked. And don't despair - if I said I'm coming to see you, I still am, just a few weeks later. :-)
I'll update you on the next start date for the blog when I know what I'm doing.
In the meantime, I've been watching some crazy Bollywood films that I've brought back - I actually REALLY like some and I'm saying this as someone who dislikes musicals!! But some of them are great - or as the English would say - "not too bad"! (exclamation was my own).
Miss you all! (you know who you are) ;-) X

What I miss about India...

From the Kingfisher Airlines safety video.
The Hindi version is marginally better but could not find it.

This chick should give lessons! ;-)

just passing time ;-)

Mr Pierce doing Kevin Bacon...
(if a little mixed up with media of me...)

"...Don't care if it's hit or miss
'Cause then she kissed me and it felt like a hit
Come on..."

Hong Kong (almost China...)

[I was being arty with my phone camera - view from the window]

My trip to Hong Kong started still in Colombo when Helga and I were trying to get seats next to each other on the flight between SL and HK. Through my eagerness, enthusiasm and effort we managed to be the first in line to check-in, trying to ensure that we got these seats (across the aisle from each other). Well that idiot on counter 26 put me in my aisle seat and Helga in the middle seat, in the row ahead of me... After he did that and handed us our tickets, he said he couldn't change it and we would have to change on the plane. I think my anti-China venom molecules were high already and I was ready for a battle, but Helga insisted she didn't mind (more like didn't want to see me get any more angry) and so we agreed to disagree and sit wherever fate took us.
Luckily on the plane we managed to get better seats in the front row with extra leg room (H is tall) and even when the guy that was sitting in Helga's seat arrived (very late!) - he was told to sit elsewhere.
Then on the second leg of that trip (stopover in Bangkok) I got a hell of a reminder of why I promised myself never to go back to China (HK doesn't really count - except as a mild reminder...). On the seat next to me, sat an old man who first started to bring up and then chew his phlegm (if you've been to China you know what I'm talking about!) and then he started to blow his nose on the little airplane pillow, which he then put on the arm rest between us -snot down so he contaminated the arm rest... My blood pressure went through the roof and I woke up the man sitting in the row in front of me (and beside Helga) and demanded he swaps seats with me. He did.
Now, I've been contemplating going back to China to help out a colleague - so she'd have a nice easy introduction to China from someone who knows/loathes it well.
Well, after this short reminder (yeah just the flight), there is no way in hell I am going back to that country. Never will be too soon!!

Landed in HK in foul anti-China mood. Helga was quiet and didn't encourage or discourage my ravings - just nodded absently occasionally - bless her - best reaction given the circumstances! Then in the hotel they put me in a room next to a baby (crying/noisy baby) who really grated on my shattered nerves. I know all the people with children will judge me regarding this, but you all know I'm not a baby person. I changed rooms when 5 minutes after settling in to my new room, a drill or a pneumatic hammer started next door! After another phone call and a conversation with manger, in which i sounded like I was crying and laughing together and I was asking for the 'crying baby' room back, all the noises stopped and I was assured they would stay quiet - that day (I made sure I didn't order anything from room service since hotel staff might have been a bit angry with me...). After a bit of a rest I felt a little bit better, but the thought of myself being in what officially could be counted as China, made my skin crawl. I think most of you are well aware of China's and mine strained relationship - or the lack of any positive feelings in that direction. Well, it hasn't changed at all. Hearing the language, seeing the streets, any minor interaction with the locals, still brings up the same emotions in me - it must be some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (and Helga will attest to it)!

Hong Kong is different and not near as Chinese (the mainlanders still need a visa and the Westerners don't for HK), it still is China, a bit more civilised but there is the same lack of culture and extreme consumerism that has replaced it (only my personal opinion - some people love it). And HK is getting more Chinese, even in the short time I've been away!

But as you are all well aware of my thoughts on the subject - I'm sure I haven't spared anyone I'll refrain from any more rantings and ravings...
Instead I've included some short videos of nice HK (non-Chinese! ;-) ):
- of what it's like walking in HK (on a fairly quiet morning);

- of me trying to be a crazy person on HK longest escalator - it's also a great method for gaining some personal space in a very crowded city!

- and then of Helga's and mine boat trip in the beautiful Victoria Harbour. That is one place I really like in HK - except when the ferry rocks and I think we'll tip over and drown!
BTW I'd like to thank Helga for this trip. We managed very well living in such close proximity, constantly in each other's company, for such a long time. And I even liked Hong Kong for a day on that mad shopping spree we went on. We literally shopped till I dropped - yes, I must admit, I died first while Helga still ran around some shops and bought gifts AND she managed to go to mainland China to shop on the following day!!

OK and the final goodbye I recorded in Hong Kong, mentioning all of the themes from the trip. Yes, CRICKET!!
(I'm typing this from Sydney airport since we missed our Canberra flight!)

See you all next trip in less than a month's time!

Oh yeah I might add a couple of small posts if I remember something...
And I can finally start answering emails!

Happy Birthday DAD!!!

I'm bringing you a great gift - a selection of hotel toiletries and slippers! ;-)

Tuk-Tuk Riders

Where was I?

It's odd, I've been out of Sri Lanka for a couple of days now and need to put myself in the right mood to depict it accurately. So lets start with some photos:

Finally today (imagine it's 3rd of March), before departing for Hong Kong, I was able to exit the hotel and explore Colombo. Apart from a spot of shopping, Helga and I went tuk-tuk riding!

Tuk-tuks are the three-wheeled vehicles also known as rickshaws that most people hire for quick transport around the city. These (not)cars can sneak into any space, their drivers don't hear anything so don' have to obey any road rules, usually don't have any lights at night so don't have to obey any road rules and aren't probably considered real vehicles so they don't obey any road rules! So mayhem on the road!!

Have a look at Helga and me, enjoying a tuk-tuk ride (note I've called her a different name in order to confuse you and thus protect her real identity!)

Anyway, not to make you think that Sri Lanka is all paradise - notice the army with their guns, the tuk-tuk drivers all talk about cricket and try to rip of the tourists!

(Though blending in as non-Sri Lnkan locals, we get them back and argue and bargain and damn if we don't get our 46cent discount!) And why the hell not?!

And I've found another Ganesh god - this one made of tuk-tuk parts?

Knowing that there is or was a conflict in Sri Lanka I tried to ask what it was about and so I asked a non-threatening Sri Lankan girl what the conflict was about?

"The war is over now." she replied. Yes but what WAS it about.

"It's finished!" she insisted.

OK so I wasn't game to ask her again.

I tried again later with another person. And got exactly the same reply - "War is over!"

Maybe that's what they teach them as a standard reply for curious tourists?

On another (last in Sri Lanka) ride we had a tuk-tuk driver who talked about cricket almost our entire ride - in anticipation of the Australia vs Sri Lanka game the following day. He was exclaiming wildly and I was a bit worried about getting to B in one piece (though Helga was just lounging in the tuk-tuk beside me having had 200% more experience in the fine art of tuk-tuk riding). He was very excited about cricket! I couldn't understand a word he was saying but since neither could Helga, I assume the problem was with English, not my lack (and continuously resistant to any acquisition!) of cricket-speak. Almost at our destination he mentioned too -

"I am Tamil, from north!" Finally! A someone who could explain the conflict to a curious tourist. "Oh GREAT!" I said and then noticed he was missing some front teeth and I was a bit worried about how he lost them - probably in a fight with an Australian about cricket...

"Good luck with the cricket tomorrow! Hope you win!" I chickened out about the war that is over...

If you thought you were going to learn something - go to wikipedia...

I recommend a nice elephant ginger beer (called EGB, really! and with an elephant on the bottle) and a drink to all the Tamils, cricketers and tuk-tuk drivers!
On to HK!!

Sri Lankan hotels

The title is such since only today on my 3rd day was I able to leave the hotel. Up to know either work, my stomach or just plain old tiredness have kept me inside the hotel - so apart from the airport-hotel ride, I didn't see much.

First of all when leaving India, some god (I'm certain it was Ganesh!) decided to smile upon me and transformed my crappy Kingfisher mosquito infested flight into a First Class Kingfisher mosquito infested flight. Plus I came into Sri Lanka with some minor food poisoning (but lets not jump ahead of time). Yes I got upgraded and since this was an international flight, there actually was a 1st class section (oh and let me just say that Helga who flew later that day with (Delayed) Jet Airways - was the only one out of her group of people not upgraded and had to play 'Nurse Helga' two a couple of geriatric quality Indians. I met a colleague from another institution in the queue waiting for check-in and some guy came up to us, took our passports and itineraries and came back with first class tickets! So we were very happy. Especially since our tickets were done ahead of a few other people waiting in the queue in front - and they didn't get upgraded. Probably because they were French (no cricket team!).

Pity the flight lasted 55min and we were early! Damn - my first non-delayed flight in India, leaving! and Kingfisher!!

Arriving in Sri Lanka was OK though as some of you know, I didn't manage to get a Business Visa as I ran out of time. No worries I was going to pretend to be a tourist... Except of course that I was staying at the same hotel as everyone else and was Australian, so first thing the border guy says is - "Are you here for your job attending this exhibition, which starts tomorrow at 9 at Hotel X?"
I was so stunned I didn't say anything and then he asked - "Where is your Business Visa"?
I didn't think I needed one - I mumble...
"I'm putting a note here that you were advised to get a business visa. Make sure you get one next time if you want to be able to enter Sri Lanka". Arrogant F£&k! Why are border control people (only the ones at the passport control counters, MM!) such stereotypical bureaucrats?!
What if I'm really coming for a holiday next time?!


But I got in and saw Sri Lanka via my car ride to the hotel...
Pardon my IGNORANCE (it was a major lack of knowledge hence the capitals) but I thought Sri Lanka is to India, what NZ is to OZ. An extended state really, no idea why they want to be a different country!
Was I wrong?! It is completely different!! Huge difference!! Different world almost!
First thing I noticed was how clean it was. I assumed at first it was because of the cricket (I don't know why or how). Then as I was looking at the city from the car it just continued being clean and nice. And the people were smiley and it was hot. It really was what I imagined those hippie colonies of India - Goa and Kerala - to be (though they are like the rest of India - very dirty chaos). A tropical paradise holiday destination for those who like the heat. I could imagine coming here in the middle of their winter for a tea tasting/spas/elephant riding holiday (actually scrap the elephants, they probably smell as much as camels do!) It all appears safe, clean and fairly cheap but the culture is different enough to make it exotic. Now this impression was made on my trip to the hotel in the apparently least attractive of all Sri Lanka city of Colombo.

[To be continued with photos... from Hong Kong!!]

OK India - just let me go!!

Now for the last (full) day in India - H and I were in Chennai and we had an afternoon to do everything we wanted to do and hadn't done in India - so out of 'everything' - Helga said she wanted to see a temple before she left India...
We asked for a car that would take us around to a temple (I found the oldest temple there!) and then take us to a shopping temple and take us to another shopping temple which promised to be an out of this (Western) world shopping experience.
So finally, after being in fairly plush cars for the entire trip, we had our own Ambassador Taxi - which are an institution here - and a willing driver to take us to the old temple. Perhaps I should show a bit of the way there - which was an experience in itself - going through the narrow streets bustling with Chennai social life and 'rampant cattle menace'!
Sorry for the quality of the video but the view from the car was so odd and alien that even even if I had the best camera in the world, it couldn't capture 10% of the experience - the noise, smells and the chaos of that street. Sometimes the streets were empty, sometimes we were stuck in 'traffic' because some driver decided to park across the entire street.

Finally we arrived at the old temple. This was a really old temple and had loads of people really worshipping their gods. Touching stones, floors, walls, carvings and statues of the temple. Some of these stones were so worn down from people passing (no shoes allowed in a Hindu temple) and from people touching, that the carvings were merely a shadow of what they used to be. Most of the people were leaving these flower chains around the statues and burning incense and candles. The women also had these flowers strung up on strings tied to their hair and the scent of them was very heady. The driver also gave Helga and I a bit of these flower strings so we had them in our hair and every time we moved the scent would waft about... We couldn't take any photos and even without cameras, I felt like such an intruder. So the driver suggested another temple where we could take photos and have a guide. It was getting dark so we hurried along to the next temple (after yet again resisting the shop the driver wanted us to stop at - he gets commissions for every foreigner he brings).
We arrived at the new temple, deposited our shoes at the shoe deposit place and got into the temple. The guide was already waiting, the driver telephoned him before, and we quickly took some photos before it got dark (no camera charge if you're using a mobile!).
The temple was for the two sons of Shiva (?) - Ganesh the elephant headed god and the god with the monkey head, who rides the chariot.
It was all about dualities - everything and nothing - wealth and poverty etc. Some very disturbing statues that we could only look at (the poverty image was just this black mass).
Hard to see, unfortunately, the intricacy of these temples. They get repainted every few years, and as it got darker the neon lights representing the chakras came on on the main building. here were also parts we as non Hindus could not enter.
There was also a massive water filled pool that was apparently full of fish - used to populate the rivers with more fish - not allowed to fish there (I asked, why not?) - since they're gods' fish.
Our guide told us very briefly about some of the symbolisms of the temple and then took us to the wishing tree where women who want children tie a 'cradle thing' to it and those who want to get married tie this orange ribbon to that tree.
Questions followed:
To Helga - Are you married? Yes. What about children? Yes.
To me - Do you have children? No. Are you married? Well...
Oh so you can tie a rope around the tree!
OK then give me 2 ribbons!!

And so I tied two orange ribbons around the wishing tree! Was I being greedy?

As you can see the guy got very excited with the camera and bit crazy...
Can you hear his mad laughter in the background?
And just to finish the god theme - here are some photos of god Ganesh that I've taken around India. I so wish I could find a cool necklace with multicolored Ganesh to wear, or a multicoloured t-shirt with sequins and mirrors featuring Ganesh - but I look and look and cannot find!

Finally that day we went to a temple of another kind. A massive shopping centre - Indian style!

There were all these shops and some had very creative names:
You K Fashion - Kate Moss was behind the counter...
The Helvetica - no type, no font, not even paper...
The Garage - for exclusive garments (of course, where else?!)
Lord's Shoes - Will take you to heaven!
And then off to Sri Lanka we went!!!

Almost final India...

I've collected here some photos and stories from my last days. I'll start chronologically... I finally asked a local about the henna/mehndi hands that the girls have!
Helga and I were sitting at an airport, waiting for a plane and saw this girl sitting nearby who had her hands and feet painted in this intricate patterns, all the way past her elbows and we couldn't see how far up her legs. Well we didn't ask her - it's not as if we talk to complete strangers... much.
Next day I had a helper at another day of me doing my job and I noticed she had painted hands - what a perfect opportunity! And so since I knew very little about it and didn't know what was true and what wasn't, I asked and took photos!
So these are patterns which are done on type of a hen's night - a few nights before a wedding, when the girls get together to for some final bit of fun. They sing songs, dance and do the mehndi (what it's called in India). It takes a long time to dry and still develops for a few days so it has to be done few days before the wedding. Now most girls will learn how to do this and will practice the patterns on paper before attempting the mehndi on skin but for a wedding a special person who is very good at it will be hired (a woman of course - no men allowed). The bride will have very intricate designs done on her hands and up to her upper arms and her feet and legs up to and sometimes above her knees. The other girls have smaller and simpler designs done. In the case of my 'subject', she didn't want too many designs because of how long it takes to dry. But refusing a mehndi completely can spell bad luck and the girl who refuses might never find a husband.
So she had some simple flower patterns done on her hands and some others on her fingers. The designs are not very dark because she washed it off quickly before it had a chance to develop into a dark colour. Mehndi also reacts to heat - so people who have hotter body heat will develop almost black designs while cooler temp people will have orange colours. The girl told me that the designs don't really mean anything, they just supposed to look pretty and hide the name and sometimes profile of the new his face, painted on the hands (or feet).
This is where the really sweet part of this tradition comes to light. Marriages in India are of course still arranged. Most of the time the newlyweds know each other now before the wedding but in the olden days they didn't. And so this tradition served as an 'icebreaker' - that's how the girl put it. :-) So on the wedding night the bride and groom got to know each other by him looking for his name hidden in her mehndi painted hands.

To take this post to a completely different level (and not a higher one at all!!) after the girl told me this story, I had a pedicure and a manicure booked in the hotel beauty salon where I was being 'done' in between a very different and new marriage...
Imagine my surprise when I was put in a chair on on either side of me was 'part' of the marriage. On one side were 2 very young (early 20's) women in black abayas and head scarves who had their abayas (the black sack a woman wears in Saudi Arabia for example) hitched up to their knees and their trousers which they wore underneath also pulled up, since they were having their pedicures done. Their hands had the henna on them - one very detailed and the other less so. They were talking in that beautiful guttural Arabic (which I'm sorry but sometimes sounds like a Chinese man working on his phlegm!) to a man who was also having his pedicure done. A 50+ year old man wearing the white thobe and a head scarf was sitting on my other side - he didn't have his toe nailed painted by the way. They were talking like this over me, as my ears wilted and I of course was trying to figure out their story. No strange men were allowed in the room at the time since the ladies were showing their ankles (but I was OK as another woman - I'm not really the no-lady-no man!) so obviously the man was family.
The younger girl and the man were finished with their pedicures and were waiting for the older girl who decided to switch colours mid-painting so had to have hers cleaned and re-painted. Well obviously the man was getting impatient and the younger girl who was also ready, got up from the chair and stood next to the man. That's when the man did the unbelieveable thing for Saudis and put his arm around her waist, very suggestive - almost porn by Saudi standards!
So, OH MY GOD, they were obviously married!!!
The couple then left the salon, leaving the older girl behind. She got very, very upset and started growling and chewing phlegm in Arabic - I assumed she was almost swearing. She yelled at the girl who was drying her nails and shoooed her away.
[I then briefly noticed the sight which is,, unfortunately, burned into my mind forever - the girl had hairy legs - short obviously growing out hair, about 2-3mm but FUCK there was lots of it!!!]
Anyway she pulled down her trousers, down went the floor length abaya, on came the shoes that destroyed the unfinished pedicure and off she ran after the couple!
I looked at the women around me, probably looked shocked and said - "Very old husband and very young wife!"
The ladies looked back at me and one said - "Very old husband and two wives!"

But damn, those legs were hairy!!! And no, I didn't take any photos.

Goodbye India 3 - 1000s of words! ;-)

Goodbye India 2 - Stray cattle menace is rampant!

INDLISH - I think that's what the variation of English spoken in India is called (oh my I think I'm writing it myself!). Most people speak some English or Indlish and below are the specimens I've captured.

Mam - you saw the video in the previous post - this must be leftover from British rule - but any female which is seen as important, is referred to as 'mam'. Western non-Indians are always mams, but I haven't heard if Asian women are mams or not. India still has a caste system of impenetrable hierarchy, so lower level people also refer to higher level women as mams.
I actually found this quite grating the other day when I had this nice elderly lady and a young bossy one working with me. The older lady kept referring to the young one as mam and did all the crappy jobs for the younger one - like carry heavy things and bring her tea. The younger 'mam' also yelled at the older woman about something but not in English, so I couldn't understand. I just interrupted and asked the younger one what she had a problem with - specifically to break this confrontation - I addressed only the young one and quite sharply (I can do that - I'm a 'capital M' Mam) and the snake smiled and said it was just a small misunderstanding (she controlled herself after this).
Helga is a Mam too, especially being blonde and tall - she's a Scary Mam that you don't want to get in trouble with, or she'll talk to you directly or look at you! Staring directly at Helga is not done as much as staring at other Mams, I think people avoid Helga a bit more than they avoid me. They don't seem to address her willingly and in some cases even avoid helping her, for example with luggage (driver she hired! - though Helga thinks this was A=dress, H=trousers issue).

Veg/non-veg - Vegetarian or meat - all food is divided thit way. Restaurants state they are Veg and/or Non-veg. Meals are classified as Veg or non-veg. In airplanes, no one asks you "chiknrbeef" but "vegornonveg". Clear and simple. On my first India based flight, I asked what the meals actually were and was told "chicken or veg". Oh and they usually run out of Veg options first, since Hindus seem to be vegetarians. So are the foreigners - as a Delhi Belly prevention method!!
I haven't checked, but I bet you there's a McVeg and a McNon-Veg at McDonalds.
I also think I'll miss this classification, it made life simple and was easier to understand than left/right!
And finally regarding food, when reading menus, all foods seem to be 'tempered' with something or 'napped with' something. While tempered means 'flavoured/seasoned', I have yet to decipher 'napped with'. Someone suggested 'covered with' as if during a nap...

Examples of some Indlish phrases I've heard or seen written in emails:
What is your good name? = What is your name (sometimes meaning 'full name')? I heard this one a lot.
Kindly, do the needful. – Do what is necessary. There is also the word 'kindly' by itself, which is substituted for 'please'.
You will be intimated shortly. - ?? I really have no idea what this means?!
Where are you put up? - Where are you staying/living? Which hotel, suburb, etc.
He passed out in 2005. – He finished/graduated (usually from university) in 2005. Not to be confused with the next one!!!
He expired 2 years back. - He died 2 years ago.

Some fantastic specimens I found in today's newspaper:
"Need to tackle threats to women, which technology brings along" - Title of an article about safety issues facing women returning home after 7pm because of extended work hours.
"Women steer clear of myths" - Title of an article about women who work in non-traditional jobs.
"Unidentified persons broke into a home and decamped with gold and cash" - decamped is a fitting word used with liberty of thesaurus... (Intended, of course!)
"The homeless will be enumerated" - Another thesaurus addict!
From a complaint letter about a street near a school, written by a student: "Stray cattle menace is rampant. People spit and urinate in the open and these happen everyday. This is the main reason people dislike even to cross the road and go to school." 1st Prize in Creative Excuses for Truance!!
One of the events I came to India to attend was mentioned, along with the reasons why it was well attended: "South India basically had in it's genetic DNA, the culture of involvement in education. Hence, it could be well tapped."
And finally about the policy to increase women participation in the military (I kid you not!) - "More women will be taken in armed forces. To date, the India Air Force has the highest percentage of women on its rolls."
Was it worth the wait?
Next post will speak a few thousand words, without me having to write them! Now, I'm so tired I'm ready to hit my roll!

Goodbye India

Since this is the last series of India posts, they will be massive and picture/video heavy (well to my standard at least...) - I may have to break them up into smaller pieces, but don't worry, I'll do it thematically so your poor heads (or mine) can cope with the inverted structure.
So lets start with the news of the moment - CRICKET!
There is cricket fever going on in India! Everybody is talking about the cricket. All the drivers have opinions as to who will win, there are actually big crowds in front of shops selling TV - where homeless men and passer-bys gather to watch the cricket on the many screens, in restaurants - waiters run out in the middle of ordering so they can see the current score. There was a riot in Bangalore when black market tickets for the India vs England game, were sold out and people got arrested (no I wasn't one of them, I was joking - I don't care about cricket!) The events I'm attending empty out at 2pm when cricket games start and many of the people I meet are telling me the boys at schools who are having exams at the moment, are failing because they cannot concentrate. I'm beginning to think this is all some Indian feminist conspiracy (the PM is a woman) to increase girl's participation in education by significantly reducing competition from boys.
But hey, don't listen to me - here's an expert!

It's a bit hard to hear, so I've included a transcript of Morale's words below (not his real name, but a variation...). He was our driver for past two days and just couldn't shut up about the cricket. So I devised a plan that I would be filming the road and casually ask him about the cricket and see if he starts talking on camera. I asked if I could film, including filming him a bit too. No problem. He was a bit shy but how could he not talk about cricket?! (I'll tell you later about why some teams fail while others do well. Morale had it all worked out.)
How's the cricket going?
Is doing very well Mam (that's me - I'm Mam, sometimes Helga is Mam - I'm having an identity crisis)
Who has won the last game?
Australia, Mam.
Yeah, yesterday.
Yesterday I didn't watch, Mam, because [...Australia?...] I go uni, I go to sleep, I wake up in the morning, I very tired. Because I continued 42 hour..., 62 hour duty, 32 hour duty.
32 hours?!!!
Yeah!
...of driving? (by this point I'm thinking - great! I'm in the death seat!!)
Yeah!! Then I went, I had some food, then I sleep. Then in morning at 5 o'clock I wake up, then I bath, then I come for the hotel. Now I'm coming... going for the airport. [OK he's that tired he doesn't know whether he's coming or going?]
Ah OK and so um was there any cricket yesterday? [Helga was supposed to help with the interviewing since she knows more about cricket than I do, but it takes her a while to join in...]
Yesterday, South Africa - West Indies was playing. I, ah, watched little bit but then last moment, I didn't see the match. I was... ah... sleepy.
But you don't think South Africa, um, is South Africa might win? [Ha ha notice the expert Indian sentence construction here! It's not a mistake, it was intentional rapport building! Oh and he told us before who he thought would win and I showed how little I knew about interviewing - I was concentrating on the camera work and lighting! Notice still no help from H!]
I think South Africa, they only win the match.
Ah OK but they won't win the...
I think so, but I need to see the paper! Because they give the news in the paper.
Is India still winning their games? [Finally Helga!]
That is, ah, the day after tomorrow, we know that, with the England. In Bangalore! But a lot of people, they standing still in the queue for the tickets. Because the ticket, they're selling in the black! They're not selling directly for the public. They're selling...
Aaah OK, black market! [I thought I'd clarify this for you. That's what the rioting was about!!]
...indirectly, black market, they're selling... The (...?...) tickets now it was... 15,000 to 20,000 rupees.
Oh my god!
200 rupees ticket, this much how they're selling.
And um, what I was gonna ask is... [zero help again...] Will you give us any tips on who might win?
Erm... In the World Cup, Mam? [No! In the Journalism Award for Best Interviewers!] I think India will win.
You think India will win? OK. And... [no assistance whatsoever, after we talked about how I have so many jobs - filming, lighting, make-up, direction, panicking about the death seat...]
Who... Who's the biggest competitor to India?
The player Mam?
No, who's the biggest threat to India? Which team? [Finally some assistance!] Yeah, which team?
I think they are all, three team, the tough team, very, very tough team, of this World Cup. One is Sri Lanka, one is South Africa, one is England! In this game, they are the teams, they are with chances.
That's the gist of it. India will win. Although the driver today (a different person) told me South Africa would win. Though I doubt this new driver had as much experience as Moralr. You see before all this took place Morale told us about how he drove the cricket world's elite. He even got a t-shirt from a Sri Lankan team player but couldn't wear it or he'd get killed, since it said Sri Lanka on it. But what's the secret of cricket team's success, I hear you ask?
Abstinence!
It's the alcohol and prostitutes that are cricket's downfall. Pakistan team apparently indulged and look at them - didn't make the top 3 tough teams (under India)! We heard it all in detail, bit too much actually. Helga had to change the topic. We also heard about the drug users in India and how young kids are getting addicted to sniffing solvents and 'liquid paper' (whiteout - for correcting mistakes on paper). And that the only thing that works on them is electrocuting them, since beating doesn't...
Anyway, enough of Morale's Bangalore stories or we'll all go to Kolkata and jump off that bridge!

Next will be a post about Indlish - a taste of which you saw today.
I almost proficient with it and I am catch myself very, very unaware of using it...
- Mam... erm.. - Ania!
PS We've had visitors from Russia on the blog. They woke me up one night and surprised the hell out of me. I even exclaimed "Oh my god!" to which D. replied without missing a beat " I told you, you don't have to call me that." D - 1, A - sleepy!