Goodbye India 2 - Stray cattle menace is rampant!

INDLISH - I think that's what the variation of English spoken in India is called (oh my I think I'm writing it myself!). Most people speak some English or Indlish and below are the specimens I've captured.

Mam - you saw the video in the previous post - this must be leftover from British rule - but any female which is seen as important, is referred to as 'mam'. Western non-Indians are always mams, but I haven't heard if Asian women are mams or not. India still has a caste system of impenetrable hierarchy, so lower level people also refer to higher level women as mams.
I actually found this quite grating the other day when I had this nice elderly lady and a young bossy one working with me. The older lady kept referring to the young one as mam and did all the crappy jobs for the younger one - like carry heavy things and bring her tea. The younger 'mam' also yelled at the older woman about something but not in English, so I couldn't understand. I just interrupted and asked the younger one what she had a problem with - specifically to break this confrontation - I addressed only the young one and quite sharply (I can do that - I'm a 'capital M' Mam) and the snake smiled and said it was just a small misunderstanding (she controlled herself after this).
Helga is a Mam too, especially being blonde and tall - she's a Scary Mam that you don't want to get in trouble with, or she'll talk to you directly or look at you! Staring directly at Helga is not done as much as staring at other Mams, I think people avoid Helga a bit more than they avoid me. They don't seem to address her willingly and in some cases even avoid helping her, for example with luggage (driver she hired! - though Helga thinks this was A=dress, H=trousers issue).

Veg/non-veg - Vegetarian or meat - all food is divided thit way. Restaurants state they are Veg and/or Non-veg. Meals are classified as Veg or non-veg. In airplanes, no one asks you "chiknrbeef" but "vegornonveg". Clear and simple. On my first India based flight, I asked what the meals actually were and was told "chicken or veg". Oh and they usually run out of Veg options first, since Hindus seem to be vegetarians. So are the foreigners - as a Delhi Belly prevention method!!
I haven't checked, but I bet you there's a McVeg and a McNon-Veg at McDonalds.
I also think I'll miss this classification, it made life simple and was easier to understand than left/right!
And finally regarding food, when reading menus, all foods seem to be 'tempered' with something or 'napped with' something. While tempered means 'flavoured/seasoned', I have yet to decipher 'napped with'. Someone suggested 'covered with' as if during a nap...

Examples of some Indlish phrases I've heard or seen written in emails:
What is your good name? = What is your name (sometimes meaning 'full name')? I heard this one a lot.
Kindly, do the needful. – Do what is necessary. There is also the word 'kindly' by itself, which is substituted for 'please'.
You will be intimated shortly. - ?? I really have no idea what this means?!
Where are you put up? - Where are you staying/living? Which hotel, suburb, etc.
He passed out in 2005. – He finished/graduated (usually from university) in 2005. Not to be confused with the next one!!!
He expired 2 years back. - He died 2 years ago.

Some fantastic specimens I found in today's newspaper:
"Need to tackle threats to women, which technology brings along" - Title of an article about safety issues facing women returning home after 7pm because of extended work hours.
"Women steer clear of myths" - Title of an article about women who work in non-traditional jobs.
"Unidentified persons broke into a home and decamped with gold and cash" - decamped is a fitting word used with liberty of thesaurus... (Intended, of course!)
"The homeless will be enumerated" - Another thesaurus addict!
From a complaint letter about a street near a school, written by a student: "Stray cattle menace is rampant. People spit and urinate in the open and these happen everyday. This is the main reason people dislike even to cross the road and go to school." 1st Prize in Creative Excuses for Truance!!
One of the events I came to India to attend was mentioned, along with the reasons why it was well attended: "South India basically had in it's genetic DNA, the culture of involvement in education. Hence, it could be well tapped."
And finally about the policy to increase women participation in the military (I kid you not!) - "More women will be taken in armed forces. To date, the India Air Force has the highest percentage of women on its rolls."
Was it worth the wait?
Next post will speak a few thousand words, without me having to write them! Now, I'm so tired I'm ready to hit my roll!