Crazy Pakistan stories

Here are a few instances of how crazy the country and its people were:

• After work, I was having the food poisoning salad at the Kohsar Market (of course I would find out it was poisoned later...) and my driver was strangely chuckling to himself when I left and more when I came back. Thinking that maybe I have some strange sign on my back or something else, I finally asked him why he was laughing. "You know whereyou just had lunch? You know who Mr Tasseer is?" Of course I know the answer to neither. "Mr Tasseer, he was assassinated here last year!" Says the my driver and he's so happy I'm thinking he has the most morbid humour I have ever met... "Why is it so funny?" I finally ask. "Because of who killed him! His DRIVER!!!" Cackles my driver smiling triumphantly. I got it then!
• One of the agents I work with was taking me for a safe tour of Islamabad (it is his Merc that you can see the Mosque from) as he's driving up Margalla Hills, our conversation turns to TV, which I don't watch, except on the road when my favourite NatGeo show is on. What show, asks the agent. Air Crash Investigations, I admit embarrassed. But the agent is very excited and says he likes the show too. He then takes me on a very personal, tailored tour of Islamabad - the crash site of the crash of Airblue flight 202! Lovely!
• Talking about airplanes etc... The Benazir Bhutto International Airport (not to mention more assassinations) would have to be the worst airport I've been to, beating Kolkata by a mile! My luggage was opened and searched 4 times and x-rayed once, since Pakistan is a major route for Afghani opium trade. One of those times a sniffer woman stuck a massive needle into my open bag and as she pulled it out she sniffed it, checking for opiate smells, I was told. She surely looked a lot nastier than any sniffer dog I had seen so far! At check-in, I also had to pay some bribe fee, that was hand written on a piece of paper that was shown to me, of course no receipt was given. Then when my 29kg bag was finally closed and checked in, they protested it was too heavy and that I would have to pay excess luggage fees. Finally seeing my chance, since the only scale there was broken, I said "No! No scale no fee!" The staff there laughed so much, they gave me an invitation to the Business lounge.